Why every time I sit on the toilet, I have to have company! I’m so tired of NOT being able to shit in peace. Every Mom understands this very sentiment. Since men always want to be included in Advice For My Sistas, here is an opportunity for you to read and learn something!
How many times do children follow Dad in the bathroom to ask them for something or just to talk? (In my house, very rarely) On the other side of the coin, I can’t go to the damn bathroom alone! It’s a kid sitting on the floor, a grown man asking me a question that can wait, or lately a dog jumping up at me!
ALL I WANNA DO IS SHIT!
I don’t think in the history of life has a man ever stopped in mid-shit to get off the toilet to help his family. (This is self-care at its finest and where women need to learn to put themselves first)
Every mom I have talked to has dealt with constipation due to time constraints or being rudely interrupted!
The other night a dog followed me in the bathroom and after screaming for 2 mins for someone to come get the dog, in walks the man. I was so thankful but here is where the problems started… He started asking me questions about something that could have waited. So, as I’m answering I notice Ima little shit shy and I’m just not letting it drop because I’m not fully relaxed. I’m rather annoyed. Then, out he goes. I let one drop and in comes my daughter begging me to lay with her because she’s scared. I screamed, “Go ask your Dad or the dog” …then felt bad for yelling, as she walked out looking defeated. So, what did I do…Wiped my ass, pulled up my pants, washed my hands, and laid with my kid. I fell asleep! Well, when I woke up, I had a stomachache. You know why: I needed to shit! But I also needed to jump in the shower. By the time I got out, the gardener was texting me to unlock the gate, the kid was hungry, and we had to start homeschooling. The day flew by. I cooked breakfast, lunch, and dinner, cleaned up, and did laundry. My man then came home and had the nerve to ask me why I was in such a shitty mood. WELL, my head musta turned like The Exorcist, as he realized he fucked up!!!
I lost my mind and went off! “You are right I am in a shitty mood. I’m still tryna get my shit out from yesterday! I’m Constipated”. Let’s just say he was really quiet the rest of the evening…and again, I’m the crazy one.
Advise women to lock the bathroom and turn the music up: LOUD! MEN, here is your chance to protect us. Make sure the bathroom is our safe haven and don’t allow the kids to disturb us when you are right there on the couch with them. Stop saying go ask your mom and make decisions, please!