I finally got it! When you truly accept your flaws and love yourself for who you are and what you look like, without wanting to constantly change (improve) your appearance, there is a sense of self-love. I didn’t realize that everyone wasn’t born with this love.
I have never been the type of girl to make a big fuss over hair, makeup, or my clothes. In fact, I hate makeup, I prefer a ponytail, jeans, and a wife beater: that’s my favorite outfit. If I am NOT at work, I am not interested in playing dress-up. I never gravitated toward friends who wanted to do makeup and hair.
I grew up with a bunch of boys and when we got old enough to go to the club, Antwon would simply say, “Sis, you look like trash. Go put on a dress and do something with your hair”. So, I would, and I’d come out. He would say cool if I was cute and we would leave. If not, he would send me back in the room till I get it right LOL. That’s the male energy I vibe with. So, the women who wanted to change clothes a hundred times and do their makeup with the latest trends, I’ve never been able to give my energy. This offends some people but I’m 46, I don’t wanna share clothes and shoes. It’s not my thang. I don’t care what anyone else has on because I don’t have to wear it.
Unfortunately, I grew up in an industry and around plastic surgery people, where others’ flaws are the favorite topic of discussion. Or they try to tell you what you need to change or improve about yourself. I like myself, THANK GOD or I’d look like Frankenstein if I would listen to what others wanted to change about me. It always irritates me. Now that I am an adult, I get to control my environment and choose to keep my distance from those kinds of people.
I didn’t realize body dysmorphia was a thing. One in every 50 people has BDD. The condition is more common in women, usually starting in their teen years. Women with BDD often have other mental health conditions, especially eating disorders, depression, and anxiety.
So, if you are ever around a Sista who pinpoints your wrinkles, your hair, your body, or even your feet, consider the source before you feel there is something wrong with you. Look at the person who is giving up unsolicited advice on your appearance. Then sincerely ask them, “Friend, are you happy with your” whatever they expressed was wrong with you. Watch the way they answer.
Love yourself, and Be good to yourself, Nothing and Nobody comes before your mental health! Don’t take others’ hate for themselves, as if something is wrong with you because YOU ARE PERFECTLY IMPERFECT!