Here’s a Flashback Friday post from 2019.
I was told by men I looked up to and adore, “TAKE THAT MAKEUP OFF, GIVE THE HORSE BACK ITS HAIR! “
I grew up in a time when men invested time loving women they weren’t trying to sleep with! I feel really sorry for a whole generation of young girls. Men no longer do that. They won’t tell you they aren’t into the lacefronts and fake eyelashes, instead they laugh at these young women behind their backs but pump them up in their faces and make them think they look good. They try to play hard and act like they don’t care but low-key get they’re dissing young girls after they use them at their convenience.
I am very lucky and blessed. Men took time out of their day to let me know I was beautiful and “perfectly imperfect, but just the way GOD made me.” I was enough. They made sure I loved myself before I was thrown to the wolves of the dating pool where boys play on girls’ self-esteem every chance they get. I was told by men who supposedly loved me I needed my ass done and another offered to pay for me to have a boob job. But these fake loves were too late! I was already warned about their kind.
My first boyfriend, Victor Carrillo told me, “Stop flat ironing your hair, your curls are beautiful. Thank you, Mookie.
I already had a platonic, successful male friend who wrote me a 4-page letter about how I never needed to alter my body because I was perfect. Thank you, Najeh Davenport! It was a small gesture of love to him, but I’ve carried it with me through life!
“Take that dead puppy off your head!”, said Antwon Tanner about my fake bangs before we left the house. Thank you, Brother! LOL
“You look like a geisha girl, take that shit off your face!” said Dr. Dre. LOL, I did have on a lot of makeup. I just got off work, LOL. Mel-Man then told me to go put some real clothes on. LOL, I was young and had too much hanging out, LOL. But I thought I was doing it. My body was banging.
Just thinking back at it makes me giggle! I love these men and hold them close to my heart.
Luther Campbell confessed to me one night when I was about 18 years old that he wasn’t attracted to what he has built his character around. Look who he married, a conservative, beautiful lawyer…. I’m not name dropping, instead I’m sharing names of men who helped me become the woman I am now, who many of you admire as well. These men were real friends to me. Along with many others, they helped teach me I WAS ENOUGH. Once you love yourself, nobody can take that from you or have you thinking less of yourself and you damn sure won’t settle for less.
I hope some young men who read this are encouraged to take some young girls under their wings and show them genuine love before fake love is all in their faces.
This is what MEN LEAD THEIR FAMILIES means. It’s a man’s duty to PROVIDE, PROFESS and PROTECT! Provide isn’t always about money, it’s a safe place, it’s providing confidence and it’s about providing security of one’s heart! Profess that young men have some knowledge to offer. Protect isn’t about fighting but also about teaching to protect the heart. Love enough to protect women from you and themselves.
56% of women are dissatisfied with their overall appearance! That’s over half the women in this world. Ladies stop looking towards your female friends for advice and ask a male homie. If you don’t have platonic friendships with straight men, GO GET YOU A MANISH GAY BESTIE, he will get you right!
Advice I’ve gotten from women about my appearance was: change it up, get some tracks or a full weave, I should get a nose job, I should botox or laser the winkles in my forehead, my laugh lines should be filled in and put stuff in my hair to loosen my curls or make it straight chemically so it won’t curl anymore. I always was too skinny or too thick. (Imagine if I’da listened) This was advice from family members and people who supposedly love me! Not random friends.
We have to teach our daughters to LOVE THEMSELVES the way they are! I pray my daughter is surrounded with the genuine love and friendship I was blessed to encounter growing up. That positive male energy is needed! Mom & Dad’s word isn’t enough, it takes a village! I feel sad for every woman who didn’t grow up with it. It shows…