I felt you when you said you can’t share your emotions with a woman because they use it against you! Then, they run and tell your business to their friends.
I too have had falling outs with female friends and the first thing they do is go run and tell your secrets. I couldn’t be upset, I really had to learn to laugh. Most of the things they thought they were telling were planted anyway.
I am like you. I often keep my thoughts to myself about super serious things. But what I can tell you is the right woman doesn’t see expressing emotions as weakness, nor will they use it as weakness. I have those lifelong female friends I can tell anything to, and they hold it close. You just gotta learn what you’re dealing with and those running their mouths and using it against you weren’t meant to stay. They simply aren’t your person. It’s truly that easy, Papi.
The sexiest thing my man can do is be vulnerable. Let his guard down. Feel he is able to open up. I have to supply that safe place for him to do so, of course. It’s a give and take.
I apologize to you today for every woman who has hurt you. As well as I apologize to any man who’s felt I have hurt them. (That doesn’t mean contact me, stay where you are.)
Brothas, we need you, even when we don’t know how to make you feel needed.
Brothas, we love you, even when we don’t know how to say it.
We need to stop comparing the trauma between Black Men and Black Women and realize we both have battles. One is NO MORE extreme than the other, it just feels that way because WE are the ones feeling it!
Many of us were NOT raised with our fathers. We don’t know how to love a man because we have never seen it. Please… just like you want our patience too… teach us. “Love is patient, love is kind,” they say, but if we have never felt it… we don’t know. Teach us how to make you feel needed. I apologize truly, we don’t know better.
We love you! Many of us want to do better.