I self-diagnose myself all the time. (I am a lightweight hypochondriac. And a slight germaphobe and just hate to be sick!) I was due for my annual pap smear just in time for me to diagnose myself with a UTI! My pee didn’t burn, and I am emptying my bladder, but the issue is I feel like I always have to pee. I drink 16 oz of water and I’m in the bathroom like 4 times.
So, my Dr. walks in after checking out my urine sample, checking for this UTI…he took my blood to check my sugar. Nothing! He says my bladder may have fallen from having a child, but he is pretty sure my issue is self-induced.
“Self-Induced?” I asked him.
“Yes Cherie, you caused this. (Pause) You are drinking too much water,” he said. Dead pan.
“No bacteria was found. You don’t have a sting when you urinate. Your A1C came back fine, you don’t have diabetes. You are drinking too much water.”
“Every single time I self-diagnose, I do it wrong!” I started laughing.
“I’m going to treat you like I do the children…2 hours before you go to bed you are not to drink anything.”
I put my head down.
“Yes, Doctor.” Feeling 10 years old.
So, there we have it! WebMD and Googling my symptoms, I’m done with you! We are divorced!!
2020 – I am giving that up!