By 40, I know who I am. I have come to embrace the fact that I’m slightly socially awkward. Growing up in the spotlight has lent a hand in me becoming a bit of an introvert. I never thought of it as a problem until I watched my toddler start to follow in my footsteps.

She would scream anytime someone outside her immediate circle stepped foot in the house. At first, I thought well maybe it’s just a phase, but after 6 months it became completely emotionally draining to even have company. When I say company, I mean family members over. Remember, I’m an INTROVERT so I don’t do many people myself.

One afternoon, Melanie came over for a playdate with her toddler and I realized, “Wait a minute – no tears or panic attack. What’s going on?

Two minutes later, my daughter is sitting in Melanie’s lap giving her big love. I was sitting back smiling because I realized my awkwardness had not passed onto my toddler! My little one is simply cautious and can sense the vibrations people give off.

I too am not easily trusting, and I am not swift on letting people into my personal space. So, why should I expect my daughter to be any different. I grew up in a time where adults would say, “Give me a hug,” and as a child you were supposed to grant their wish. I hated that and swore when I became a parent I wouldn’t force people on my child, so I don’t. I let her gravitate to people at her own pace, when she feels comfortable and if she never does, I am ok with that too.

Back to Auntie Mel, because she’s clearly one of my daughter’s favorites. Melanie is social and always has her daughter, whom is 4 months younger than mine, out and about and around people.

I know you’re not supposed to compare children, but for the sake of this conversation, it’s a must. Melanie’s lil bundle performs for the crowd when they are around and is totally free in a room full of strangers. While my little bundle is all of a sudden shy. She will still speak, but it’s soft as she observes what’s going on around her.

Through conversation with Melanie and my daughter’s pediatrician, they eased my mind.

I am happy to say that by 2 ½, she no longer cried when her uncles and cousins walked in the door. Not only is family welcomed, she invites them in.   Now, I just have to figure out how to stop her from crying when they leave.

What traits did you worry about passing on to your children?



  1. Trying to please everyone. Making everyone Happy, even though that’s not going to happen.
    My daughter is totally different. She is very outspoken and if she doesn’t want to do something or go somewhere she will try to tactfully say No. She is grown, married and mommy to 2. She does however, still call her Mommy for advice but, I always want her to know I am supportive of her decision.
    I am glad that she has grown up to be a strong, independent, sometimes opinionated woman, that hold her own and not lose herself.


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